


Freckles and Warm Hugs

by flugsvampsskogen



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Best Friends, Childhood Friends, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Sad and Sweet
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-13 00:54:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29269818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flugsvampsskogen/pseuds/flugsvampsskogen
Summary: A sweet story about Yamaguchi and Tsukishima's every day life and friendship that slowly evolves into something more.This is for the ones with a soft heart and in need of a good friend and a warm hug.Mainly one shots, I'm having trouble putting this together but I'm truly doing my best. You can probably skip the first chapter, it's pretty shitty.
Relationships: Tsukishima Kei & Yamaguchi Tadashi, Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Comments: 6
Kudos: 29





	1. What as the name of the bus stop again?

**Author's Note:**

> I was walking home from my friends house and to pass time I made up scenarios that coincidentally fit in on these two. English isn't my first language and it has been a while since I've written creative pieces using it, so please don't be too harsh.

/  
He’s struggling a bit with the scarf, it refuses to stay around his neck and the winds main goal for today is to have it blow far far away. Unfortunately, for the wind, Tsukishima won’t let that happen. It is a nice scarf, the edges a bit frayed because of how much he wears it, but other than that it looks as if it’s new. From his pocket he hears a familiar tune and picks up the phone, a text lights up on his screen.

//What was the name of the bus stop again?//

[You’ve been here a million times already]

//Come on Tsukki, do you want me to come over or not?//

[Peach Lane]

//Thank you :)//

Yellow headlights light the road up and soon a white bus shows up from behind the corner. His fingers are small sticks made out of ice at this point, but he doesn’t really mind either. The best feeling is when they thaw up later when they’re finally inside. The bus stops and he’s perfectly lined up with the back door. A familiar face filled with freckles pops up in front of him.

“You waited for me?”, he mocks him. It takes every bit of self control for him not to ruffle the boys hair.

“With your sense of location you would’ve never found your way to my house anyway.”. He gives him one of the coffee cups he’s been holding for the past ten minutes. It is gratefully received and he gives it back as soon as he takes the first sip. “Oh, sorry. This is yours.”. 

“Thanks.”. 

They walk side by side, laughing about things that no one else seems to understand. Tsukishima thinks back at the time when they were at practice and shared one look, they both ended up laughing on the floor until their stomachs hurt. Hinata had teased him, saying that he was able to laugh after all. Yamaguchi's eyes almost twinkle when he looks around, he does it every time he's here. Peach Lane is a pretty place, the houses are all traditionally bilt and little shops are a bit here and there. The ramen shop they visit ever so often and the bakery where the same old woman has been working for ages. She always gives them bread and cake to share between them and wishes them a happy life every time, it feels a bit like a good luck charm at times. For Tsukishima it has always been like this, after all he does live here. But for Yamaguchi it's magical everytime, as if it were straight out of a Ghibli movie. Tsukishima sked him once, why he found it so pretty. Yamaguchi had blushed and laughed a little before explaining that it made everything less gray whenever he came home again. Peach Lane was his escape from reality.

Yamaguchi opens the door for them, it’s like he lives here too now. It’s always been like this in a way, even when they first became friends. He had always had a designated spot to put his shoes and one specific hanger for his jacket and a corner in Tsukishima's drawer for hats and mittens. There's a chair at the dinner table that only he sits on and his favourite juice and fruits are always stocked up in the fridge just for him. In the bathroom there are four tooth brushes, the green one for Yamaguchi. It's come to the point that one of Tsukishimas wardrobe drawers is exclusively for Yamaguchis extra shirts and socks and pijama pants that somehow ended up there. He lives here as much as anyone else. No one else is at home at this hour, they probably should. However it’s been a bit different around here lately. Akiteru is busy with college and parties and just being an adult over all, and mom… Mom had been weird lately. But it was okay, as long as Tsukishima knew he wasn’t all alone it was bearable.

***

“You know, it’s always clean in here.”. Yamaguchi spreads himself out over the bed, like a sea star. His eyes lock themselves on the glow-in-dark stars that they put up together so many years ago. Tsukishima looks over at him and shakes his head, it isn’t even that clean. The clothes are still on the chair and his books aren’t on their shelves. But he doesn’t say that, he’s seen Yamaguchi’s room before. It isn’t easy for him, it never was. It hurts whenever Tsukishima remembers that he can’t help him all that much either. It’s a miracle in itself if Yamaguchi even tells him about his problems, so he doesn’t dare to test the limits. A pointy chin weighs down at the top of his head and two arms rest comfortably over his shoulders and chest. If he tilted his head up, just a little bit, they would make eye contact. “Wanna watch a movie?”.

The movie isn’t that great, it’s pretty bad actually. It’s one of those mainstream boring action movies that are extremely predictable. It’s not like they actually watch it anyway, the majority of the two hours is spent talking. Yamaguchi has been able to get a lot of serves over lately, consistently and without doubting himself too much. They talk about the time they set off the fire alarm while trying to bake a strawberry shortcake and they got scolded by Yamaguchi’s mom. Tsukishima likes to think about that memory a lot, it was a lot of fun. The movie ends and while the never ending credits roll in the background they continue to talk about everything they’ve had on their minds since the last time they saw each other.

“The universe is scary.”.

“You think?”. Tsukishima’s fingers are threading through the fluffy hair he adores so much, it looks so soft and kind. He prefers it a great deal over his own hair.

“Think about it. We’re living here on this tiny earth, and around us is our solar system.”.

“Right.”.  
Yamaguchi grabs Tsukishima's hand and turns it palm up, with a finger he traces out different layers of circles. “See, here’s us,”, a tiny little dot, “here’s the solar system,”, a slightly larger circle, “here’s the Milky Way”, a big circle that takes over almost half his palm gets drawn. “And here,”, he draws the biggest circle yet and adds both of his own hands, “is the entire universe.”.

“And?”.

“We don’t know anything about it. It’s massive! How did it even get there? You know what I mean? It’s just so weird if you think about it.”.

“The universe is less scary with you in it.”. He doesn’t realise what he’s said until he notices the aggressive blush that spreads all over Yamaguchi’s face, which results in him blushing equally as much. “Uh- I mean-”.

A faint smile appears on the other boy’s lips before answering: “Yeah. Don’t worry Tsukki, I get it.”.

“No! I didn’t mean it like that. Yamaguchi, I’m sorry. I-”. Tsukishima frantically gestures with his hands towards him, both of them are sitting up by now. 

Yamaguchi grabs him by the hands to keep them still. “It’s fine, it really is. I know how you meant it. No homo right?”.

His eyebrows are almost at the start of his hairline by now, what the hell was that about? “No homo? No, Yams I really meant what I said!”.

“It’s okay, I’ll just forget about it.”. What is even happening right now? Tsukishima tries to say something again but gets interrupted. “Look. You know that I'm gay right? So don’t worry about me taking this the wrong way or whatever, because we’re friends.”. 

Tsukishima is absolutely mind blown by the information drop he received just now, because Yamaguchi has most definitely not told him about his sexuality at any moment these past six years of knowing each other. “You’re gay?”.

He looks at him for a couple seconds before he bursts out laughing. “Didn’t I tell you? Like, a while ago?”.  
“No you didn’t!”. Yamaguchi just keeps on laughing and Tsukishima can’t really figure out what’s so funny about this.

“Really? I must’ve been so nervous I imagined that I told you!”.

“You were?”. Yamaguchi lets go of his hands to dry away a tear or two that escaped while he was laughing.

“Yeah, I wasn’t sure how you’d react.”. The laugh fades away and reality slowly sets in, he realises that he still doesn’t know how Tsukki will react to the news.

“Well… I don’t really care about who you like.”. He pulls Yamaguchi into a big hug and wraps his arms around him. “I’m really sorry that I ever had you doubt how I would react.”. 

Lean arms wrap around Tsukishima’s back in return and he can hear a small whisper in his ear. “You know. The universe really is less scary when you’re in it.”. Both of them hug each other tighter than before and sit there for a while, appreciating each other's existence.

The night continues and deep conversations reach their ends and sooner than later both of the boys are snoring quietly next to each other, pinky fingers hooked to each other in a promise of never letting the other go.


	2. Shut the lights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yamaguchi has a migraine and Tsukishima comes over to bring his homework

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm having a migraine today, I'm writing this in a pitch black room and dying but being unproductive bothers me a lot.

/  
Yamaguchi was late for morning practice, he is never late to morning practice. They always meet up on their way to the gym, right by the door. It’s not like they ever planned it, they were just set on the same clock after being around each other so much. But not today apparently, today Yamaguchi left Tsukishima for the hounds to fend all by himself. Hinata looks at him when he enters the door and gets hit by a ball served by the one and only king of the court.

“Hey! Where’s Yams?”. 

“Don’t call him that.”. He takes his jacket off and tosses it in the corner with his bag and scarf. It’s ice cold in the gym at this hour and Hinata is still running around in shorts as if it were summer. Kageyama yells at him to focus and Hinata returns to leaving him alone. There’s not that much fun to do around here this early, he doesn’t even know why he came this early from the beginning. Those two idiots always seem to be here, he bets that they would be here even if he showed up in the middle of the night.

Practice goes by as it always does. Suga praises him for his blocks and Tananka and Nishinoya threaten to chop his legs off so he’ll shrink. And just as usual, he answers their threats with snarky comments and evil laughs. It’s comfortable, this team. He really likes it, the way everyone seems to fit in even though none of them are like the other. In the end Yamaguchi never comes, the spot next to Tsukishima remains cold and empty. Maybe he’s just a bit tired today?

***

Class… it is what it is. It’s all just a regular day, nothing really changes around here. The only difference today is that he hasn’t gotten any texts from a certain someone, nor has he been nagged on to eat his lunch or asked for answers from his homework. There’s no one from the class announcing that Tsukishima has a visitor by lunchtime and there is no boy with brown fluffy hair to pull his headphones off and complain about the music playing in them. He sighs heavily, assumes that he has to go all the way to the other classroom himself to find out what’s going on.

“Oh! Aren’t you Yamaguchi’s friend? The lanky one.”. Tsukishima ignores the comment about his height, it’s a nobody who said it anyway. It’s not like it’s Hinata mocking him this time, there’s no reason to say something rude back at him. 

Instead he smiles as nice as he can and nods his head. “Yeah. Is he here?”.

“Nah man, he hasn’t been here all day.”. Oh, well. Maybe he’s just sick then? He was always a bit sickly when they were kids. “By the way, the teacher asked us to get him his homework. Since you’re friends and all, would you mind?”. The boy hands him a handful of paper sheets and Tsukishima flips through them. There’s no way that this is all for one day?

“Wow I think you need to go get checked for glasses, you added some of yours in this pile as well!”. There’s this one smile that Tsukishima practices in the mirror every morning, the one smile that makes him look like a bully. Most people think that it comes naturally, Yamaguchi is the only one that knows the truth and often teases him for it. However it does come in handy while dealing with jerks like this.

“Oh, uh, sorry!”. He grabs the sheets that were his from the start and returns to his seat without making a scene about it. What an asshole.

As soon as school is over Tsukishima heads over to Yamaguchi’s house. It’s not too far away from school, so he should be able to take his bike there and back before practice starts. The snow has created a thick cover over the house ceilings and they look awfully nice and soft, it would be fun to go sledding some day. Just like when they were kids. There are no lights in the windows and there’s no one opening the door no matter how loud he knocks on it. He hadn’t had very high expectations from the beginning, but still. leaving your son alone when he’s too sick to even open the door? That’s just cruel. He grabs the spare key underneath the doormat and sticks it in the lock, it takes a couple of seconds to turn the key around because of the rust. 

The hallway is pitch black and Tsukishima puts the lights on to avoid tripping over shoes and other things that have found their way to the floor. “Hello? Yamaguchi!”. He hears no answer and continues on further inside the small house. Yamaguchi's door is closed shut and he knocks lightly on it, still no answer. After waiting for some time, a couple of minutes max, to respect his privacy he decides to just go in. There’s not a single lightsource in the room, the windows are draped over with black curtains and all the lamps have been turned off. Not even his phone will light up the room, it’s flipped upside down underneath the table. “Yams?”, he asks as he turns one of the small reading lights on. 

“Would you turn that off?”. He pulls the duvet tighter around him to shut the yellow light out and groans in discomfort. 

Tsukishima sits down next to him on the bed and puts his hand on what he thinks is his back. “Are you having migraines again?”. 

He doesn’t get an answer immediately, which doesn’t surprise him the slightest. Whenever Yamaguchi gets migraines, things are going pretty shit. “Your hand is on my butt.”. He quickly pulls his hand away and mumbles a quiet ‘sorry’ and tells Yamaguchi goodnight before leaving the room. He makes sure to close the door as quietly as possible. 

There’s really nothing more to do, Yamaguchi will be in his room sleeping the migraine off for the rest of the day. It doesn’t really matter if Tsukishima stays here or not, he won’t have any company either way. The ungodly pile of homework is still taking up a copious amount of space in his school bag, it’s all wrinkled and kind of wet when he picks it up. The snow must have gotten through the fabric or something. There’s no way that Yamaguchi will be able to finish all this until tomorrow, there isn’t even a guarantee that he will be in school tomorrow with that migraine of his. He makes himself comfortable by the kitchen table and picks out a couple of pens from his pencil case. Tsukishima smiles at the little drawings of cake slices and stars that are on the inside of the fabric, hidden from everyone but him. 

English homework is easier than the rest, since it’s the only subject that Yams is behind him in. The rest is just like the work he did in class today, grammar tasks and defining words or putting them in context. He knows most people think it’s boring since it’s so strict, but Tsukishima finds it calming because of the fact that it is strict. He likes routines and simplicity, where there’s a clear right and wrong answer. It goes by pretty quick, homework is actually quite enjoyable once you get into it. Halfway through he starts to get tired, it has been an entire day of school and practice after all. He goes to the fridge to grab a snack and spots a yellow post-it note on the white door. ‘Hi honey. I’ll be out until Thursday okay! Call me if anything happens :) Love, mom.’. She really left him here for three days? Sick and alone? Maybe she left before he got the migraine, or maybe he never told her. Yamaguchi is the type to not voice his struggles in fear of bothering anyone, he doesn’t want anyone to feel responsible over him when he can take care of it himself. Tsukishima sighs and returns to solving math equations and English grammar.

It takes a couple of hours for him to finish everything. The homework in itself didn’t take too long, it was after all simple questions that had definite answers. However he himself had an essay to finish, an argumentative essay on why the tobacco industry is problematic. It was an interesting subject, he learned a lot from it. But he would rather spend his time doing something else, like watching a movie or just taking a nap. Student’s life isn’t the dream Hollywood made it out to be. Soft steps are heard on the wooden floor and the drag of a duvet that follows them. Soon Yamaguchi is standing at the very far end of the kitchen, where the light doesn’t reach, staring at Tsukki.

“Hey. Are you feeling better?”. He nods and pulls a chair out from under the table, sits down and pours himself a glass of water. The painkillers are already portioned up in his hand and he swallows all three of them in one go.

“Did you do all this?”. His gaze is on the homework, neatly written and in a straight pile at the end of the table.

“Yeah. Where’s your mom?”. 

“Business trip. Why did you do it? I could’ve done it myself.”. 

Tsukki shakes his head and munches on the sandwich he made himself a while ago. “It’s okay, I’m more than happy to.”. Yamaguchi swallows hard, he doesn’t want to be a burden to his best friend. “You’re not a burden, Yams. This is just what friends do.”. Yamaguchi looks outside the window, it’s already dark outside. The snow has piled up on the window and you can only see about half of the view. 

“Do you want to sleep over? It’s stormy.”. 

“Yeah.”. Tsukishima gives him a soft smile and ruffles his hair a bit before he remembers that Yamaguchi does, in fact, have a migraine. Yamaguchi doesn’t dare to admit that he wishes that Tsukki wouldn’t remember, and that he would continue ruffling his hair just like that for a very long time.

They spend the night cooking, or Tsukishima is the one doing the cooking. Yamaguchi is sitting by the kitchen table under his duvet trying not to die until the painkillers kick in. The smell of hot chocolate spreads in the kitchen and warms both of the boys up from the inside. This feels like a movie moment, both of them in the kitchen while the snow is furiously whirling around their house not letting any of them even think of leaving. They sit by the kitchen table with a big cup of hot chocolate in their hands and listen to the storm outside.

“Did you know that snow is a natural sound isolator? When it snows the whole world goes silent.”. Yamaguchi picks at the marshmallow that's floating around in the chocolate to make it melt faster.

“Do you wish it snowed more often?”. 

“Sometimes. But then again, I don’t want to stop hearing you.”.

“Is that so?”, Tsukishima teases him and pulls at the duvet that’s resting over his head. 

“Yeah. Thank you.”.

“For what?”.

Yamaguchi smiles at him and looks at the mug in his hands, the pile of homework and the warm meal he has in front of him right now. “All of it. For being in my snowglobe.”.

Tsukki blushes and turns his face to a random wall, the ugly painting seems to be exceptionally beautiful and intriguing now. “Yeah yeah, whatever. It's not like did anything special.”. Yamaguchi chuckles and finally sees that the marshmallow has melted enough for him to enjoy the warm drink.

The snow just keeps falling and the world gets quieter as their conversations grow louder and the migraine shrinks away. Oh how wonderful it is to have your own little snow globe to hide away in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this chapter is better actually, seems more smooth going no? 
> 
> I notice a lot of authors apologising for their chapters being bad or what not, I do that too. But I think I'm gonna stop doing that, because writing is writing and at the end of the day it's all just progress that needs to be done, good or bad.


	3. Do you remember?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tsukishima and Yamaguchi are talking about dear memories after practice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This just popped up in my thoughts while I was ignoring my homework.

The sun is shining through the window and the rays of light are dancing all over Yamaguchi’s face, luring out the freckles that have been hiding during winter. They’ve been laying like this for a couple of hours now, in freshly washed sheets that smell of linen. Bedroom indie music is playing from Yamaguchi’s speaker and their practice clothes are drying out on the line between two windows. Tsukishima is not sure if Yams is actually sleeping or not, maybe both of them are sleeping and this is just a dream?

“Do you remember when you saved me from those bullies?”. Tsukishima hums a yes in response. “I thought you were so cool back then.”.

“Thought as in past tense? Do you think I’m lame or something?”. Yamaguchi just giggles and avoids answering his questions. “Do you remember when you called me lame? At the training camp.”.

“I was right.”. Tsukishima rolls over a couple of times, until their shoulders line up next to each other. There’s something idyllic about them laying there in Yams king sized bed with fresh white sheets, basking in the afternoon winter sun, both of them dressed in white t-shirts and black gym shorts.

“Only a bit.”. 

He sighs and picks at his cuticles. Tsukki grabs his fingers and tells him not to, his nails will be ugly if the cuticles are all bloody and scabby. “Do you remember when we built a snowman?”. Yamaguchi inspects his fingernails and decides to distract himself by drawing on his hands instead.

“You cried because I said that the scarf you knit for it was ugly.”. Tsukishima still regrets it, making his first real friend cry for something that he made with so much love and care.

“I saw you steal it, I know it’s the one you always wear.”. Yamaguchi smiles at the sight of Tsukki blushing and turning the other way, trying to rub the red out of his cheeks.

“Do you remember when we started high school?”. The flowers on Yamaguchi’s hands are growing at a rapid pace, they’re showing up one after the other.

“You were so scared.”. Yamaguchi draws the last flower that will fit, a tiny one on his pinky finger. The petals are a bit wonky but pretty nonetheless.

Tsukki grabs Yamaguchi’s hand without thinking about it, inspecting the little doodles one by one. “I was worried we wouldn’t end up in the same class.”. Yamaguchi continues to laugh, both from the ticklish feeling from Tsukkis fingers tracing the flowers and the ridiculous fright of his. “I’m serious, I really miss seeing you as often as I did before.”. He lifts Yam’s pinky up to his lips and gives it a gentle kiss, whispering a soft ‘pretty’ to it. Now it’s Yamaguchi’s turn to furiously blush.

“Do you… do you remember when we danced under the street lights?”. It’s not exactly a rare occurrence for Yamaguchi to see Tsukki smile, but it doesn’t make it any less endearing.

“Yeah… you said you were worried about stepping on girls’ feet.”. 

“About that, it was kind of a lie.”. One could flip to the page with the word ‘confusion’ in a dictionary and a picture of Tsukishima right this second would show up. “It was an excuse, to dance with you… “. 

Tsukishima rolls over half a turn, laying on his side and facing Yamaguchi as much as he can. “Really?”.

“Yeah, I’m sorry I shouldn’t have-”. His hands are all over the place, trying to find a place where they are comfortable instead of awkward. Tsukishima can’t help being a little bit amused by the flustered boy laying beside him.

“Yamaguchi?”. They’re laying face to face, Tsukki grabs the hand filled with flowers once again and intertwines their fingers so they no longer fly around. “Will you remember this?”. He leans in a bit, letting the tips of their noses touch for a second before he turns his head a bit and closes his eyes. He can’t see, but hopes that Yamaguchi does the same. The kiss is pillowsoft and light as a feather, Yamaguchi tastes of strawberry mentos and Tsukishima of mint with a hint of orange.

They lay there, just staring for each other. Both of them are having a bit of trouble figuring out what just happened, if this is reality. Tsukki thinks of summer and blue skies and warm sand in between their toes. Yams of rainy nights with humid air where yellow street lights lead the way home while they’re clumsily waltzing best they can. He feels a soft thumb rub the back of his hand and he blushes even more than before. “I promise to.”. And once again they return to quietly relaxing in freshöy washed sheets listening to music that somehow always sounds the same, thinking about memories they will never forget.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It ended up being pretty short, but I find that sweet in a way. 
> 
> Have a nice day guys :)


	4. Snow day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sledding isn't only for kids.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a filler in a way, since I was a bit anxious and stressed. We had a snowball fight today during our free period and went sledding afterwards. It's the first time we've gotten this much snow in six years, so we grabbed the opurtunity. This is just a bit of a reanactment of that, I think.

The alarm finds its way into his dream and it’s not until a rabbit starts sounding like a catchy guitar riff that Yamaguchi understands that it’s time to wake up from his dreams. After counting he can confidently say that there are twelve messages for the team chat. It’s mostly Hinata and Kageyama fighting over who should go get the keys to the gym but in the middle of that mess there’s one text that’s actually worth reading. 

//It’s a snow day today guys//

Daichi’s text makes Yamaguchi’s entire day. A snow day? That must mean there’s a lot of snow today, since they rarely get free days because of it. It’s difficult for him to open the window, it’s frozen, but eventually he gets it up and snowflakes float their way through it to land in his hair. This is just splendid. Absolutely wonderful.

A couple of tones go by before he answers the call. “What is it?”.

“Hey Tsukki. There’s a lot of snow.”.

“Yeah.”. There’s some suspicion rising in his voice and Yamaguchi has to restrain himself from sounding too excited.

“Wanna go sledding?”.

It stays silent on the other side of the line for a couple of seconds, then there’s a heavy sigh followed by a “Fine.”. 

***

There’s a lot of huffing and puffing on their way up the steepest hill in the system. They always went here as kids, the big park filled with hills all over the place. This hill in particular is the steep one, the one that only cool teenagers and eight year olds with no self preservation instincts go down. Yamaguchi and Tsukishima belong to either of these two categories, but they were dared by Kageyama and Hinata on who could race down the fastest and there’s no way they’re letting them win.

“Goddamnit”, Tsukishima pants before he continues, “what were the odds that those two idiots would come to these hills too?”. 

White clouds leave Yamaguchi's mouth as he speaks. “I don’t know, but we better win.”. 

It’s even worse from the top of the mountain, Hinata is close to chickening out before Kageyama decides to call him a wimp. Apparently that’s enough to make him face his fears without any hesitation. There’s a lot of kids their age up on the hill, some of them standing on a snowboard or a pair of skis. A group of boys are sitting on a row of questionable variations of sleds. One is sitting on wrapping paper, another on a gym mat and the last one is wearing a trashbag as dungaroos over his snow pants. Yamaguchi and Tsukishima have squeezed together on one sleigh and Hinata and Kageyama on the other. Hinata counts down from three and the second he says ‘GO!’ They push themselves off the hill and go down at full speed. 

It’s very difficult to steer a sled, which is a fact all four of them have to face halfway down the hill. They desperately try to slow themselves down with the heels of their shoes but the accomplishment they achieve is getting snow in their field of vision and now being unable to see. Hinata and Kageyama are screaming their heads off while clinging to each other while both Yamaguchi and Tsukishima are silent as the dead due to the fear of flying off and landing on their necks. Eventually they encounter what every kid that ever went sledding encountered, a bump made by the cool snowboard kids to do tricks from. One could assume that it’s made out of snow and therefore will get smashed underneath the weight of two grown people, but no. This wonderful clump of snow has been left over several nights in the cold and turned into a hard lump of ice. Naturally the boys sled makes its way directly over said lump of ice and flies about five meters before it has the mercy of landing, throwing its passengers off to roll around in the snow scared for their lives.

They roll around in the snow, following the steep path of the hill, until they lay still at the very bottom of it. By reflex Yamaguchi grabbed Tsukishima by the arm and they find themselves in a big snowy hug when the world finally stopped spinning. To both of their surprise, they won the race. Kageyama and Hinata's sled had thrown them off a bit earlier than them, making them stop their human merry-go-around experience just a couple of meters behind. 

Yamaguchi kisses Tsukkis ice cold cheek before exclaiming “WE WON!” in a joyful scream. 

Tsukishima is incredibly grateful for the minus degrees turning his cheeks a constant pink hue, otherwise Yams would catch him blushing without a doubt. After brushing the snow off of his jacket and hat he gives Yamaguchi a hive five that creates a cloud of snow. “YESSIR. DID YOU SEE THAT? YA’LL SUCK!”. Hinata is already running his way down the hill, Kageyama not far behind, demanding a rematch.

The four first years love to act like they can’t stand each other. With the constant snarky comments and outbursts of frustration they do make a believable act out of it. But it all breaks when they get a couple of hours to just be kids again. Racing their way up and down the hills and trying to find hidden gems in the middle of the forest. Snowballs flying across an empty football field and wrestling on soft beds of powder snow really reveals their true agendas toward each other. Once they’re back at practice they’ll return to the rolls they’ve created for themselves without thinking twice about it. Suga laughs at the thought, looking down at them from the top of the calmest hill. Asahi and Dachi are laughing until they run out of breath when Hinata gets stuck in one of the snowdrifts and eventually they all sit down on their sleds and go on a nice and enjoyable ride through the forest while reminiscing about their childhood that wasn’t that long ago. Hot chocolate warms their freezing fingers and they once again laugh at all the funny things they saw happening today while keeping an eye on the first years. Who would’ve thought that all of them would end up going here today after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have an exam on Friday and I am not happy at all.


	5. You are the sun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yamaguchi picks flowers in the snow and Tsukishima adores the sun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am not going to lie, I am a bit tipsy but that is something you will learn is necessary if you're a senior with a depressive episode around the corner with no regard for the endless exams that are coming up.

March has finally begun and the snow is slowly but surely thawing away. The air smells of icy cold that still clings itself to it, tiny precious flowers are beginning to sprout and a certain blonde boy is out with his a little bit more than a friend picking them.

“Look at this one Tsukki. Isn’t it pretty?”.

He nods in agreement, keeping it in his open palm with the rest of the flowers they picked up. “They’re all pretty.”. 

Yamaguchi laughs a bit as he shows Tsukishima yet another tiny flower. “Even this one?”. He looks at it and carefully twists it in between his fingers. It’s bruised and the petals are on the brink of falling off. “Yes. Even this one.”.

After ten more minutes Yamaguchi finally gives in to the cold and they both return home to the freckled boys room. The windowsill is covered with pots and green saplings in glass bottles that they spent an entire day finding in hidden second hand stores. Yams places the little flowers in soil and gives them their own dedicated spot on the already full sill. “I like plants.”.

“They’re a lot like you.”. Tsukishima hangs his cardigan over a chair and slumps down on the bed, he’s sitting on his own hands to warm them after being out in the cold.

“You think?”. He holds a small brown pot in his hands, in there they planted a tiny strawberry plant that they hope will bloom when time comes so they can eat free strawberries.

“They’re small, pretty and give you some energy for the day.”. 

Red cheeks and looks everywhere but on him. “I’m not pretty.”. He puts the pot back in its place next to the string of hearts and a lonesome tulip. Just as he’s in reach of him Tsukishima grabs him by the hand and pulls him down on the bed with him. 

With Yamaguchi laying on his chest he threads his fingers through the brown locks, making small braids here and there. “You are. You have pretty brown hair, pretty sparkling eyes and an entire universe of stars across your cheeks.”. 

Yamaguchi gives off a scoff, a grump, a frump. Whatever you call it, it is a dismissing noise of what Tsukki just said about him. “Acne and freckles are just acne and freckles. Not stars.”.

“To me they’re stars. It’s like magic you see. Everytime the sun looks at you, it fills you with these pretty little stars. You are the sun.”. 

He blushes furiously and tries to crawl out of Tsukki’s embrace. “I wish the sun would leave me alone.”. Tsukki grabs his face between his hands and starts to give pecks on every single freckle and scar and spot on Yamaguchi's face. Over his cheeks, eyelids and the bridge of his nose. He could continue down his neck and over his shoulders and make his way down his arms and back all the way to those elegant fingers with red knuckles. 

“You are warmth.”. He nuzzles his face in the crook of his neck and smells the sun on him, he’s life and warmth embodied.

“If you insist on being stubborn. You are the moon.”. Tsukki gives him a glare, he does not like being called the moon. Especially not after Hinata constantly gets called the sun. “You are gracious, beautiful, cunning.”. He combs through Tsukkis hair with his fingers and slides his thumbs underneath his eyes, letting them go down his cheeks and stop at his lips. 

“I wish I was like you.”. Tsukkis fingers are cold when he draws a little sun on one of Yamaguchi's cheeks.

“What are we, Tsukki?”. It’s been on his mind for a while, since they shared that kiss he promised to never forget. These moments, they’re too intimate to be between friends. Even the best of them.

“The sun… and the moon.”. He leans in and gives him a peck on the lips, one so light and quick it wouldn’t surprise Yams if he imagined it. “Always there for each other.”. 

“I’m serious.”. He’s sitting in his lap, facing him with furrowed eyebrows and a worried look in his eyes.

Tsukishima isn’t too sure either. It’s definitely something more than friends, something less than a couple. Not too much unlike soulmates. It’s scary, not knowing why his heart beats faster around him or why he craves his affections the most. “We kiss.”.

Yamaguchi corrects him without thinking about it. “We peck.”.

“Alright. We peck, we cuddle, we talk and we sleep. Our days are us and I like to have it like that. It’s a bit scary you know? Not knowing what feelings I’m feeling.”. Yamaguchi doesn’t answer, waits for him to elaborate. “My heart starts beating faster, like this”, he places Yams’s hand on his chest, “and when I’m alone I miss you first.”.

“You like me that much?”. He is genuinely surprised at Tsukki’s confessions.

“I like you this much.”. He spreads out his arms to his full wing span and gives him a crooked smile, Yamaguchi once again can’t help but laugh. “I like that you pick flowers before winter has even entirely left. I like when you make me help change your sheets because they’re too big for you. I like doing your homework for you and I like when we spend our days in a dark room watching movies and listening to problems neither of us can fix.”.

“That much?”. He wipes a lonely tear away before it has time to drop down on the boy he is sitting on top of.

“That much.”. He puts his arms around Yams and pulls him into a tight hug without any plans on letting go. “We can be whatever you want us to be.”.

“Then I want us to be this. Pecks and cuddles and everything else.”. 

Tsukki gives him a small frown, it’s barely noticeable. “So no kisses?”. Yamaguchi leans in and gives him a kiss, a real one this time. Tsukishima is pleasantly surprised at the fact that Yamaguchi is a good kisser, because he himself certainly is not. Yamaguchi is in fact his first kiss and he wouldn’t want it any other way.

“Of course there’s kisses. Couples kiss, don’t you think?”.

‘Couples’ is echoing in Tsukishima’s head, that is currently empty on anything important. “Oh my god, is Yamaguchi. Yamaguchi Tadashi, the it-boy, really my boyfriend?”. He puts his hand on his shoulder and swoons dramatically.

Yamaguchi can’t stop laughing, he can’t breathe and his stomach cramps but he simply can’t stop. “Oh shut up would you.”.

But Tsukishima can’t stop nor can he shut up. He can’t believe it, Tadashi Yamaguchi really is his boyfriend. His. Only his. Now that is something he could smile for an eternity about. He was chosen by the sun himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed it, I hope you guys had a somewhat okay week. Compensate for me will you? 
> 
> Have a nice night :)


	6. Bitter faces, burning throats

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yamaguchi brings Tsukishima to a party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really miss parties during summer and this is my way of making up for it

Yamaguchi is the first one at the gym today. It rarely happens, it’s almost impossible to beat Hinata and Kageyama at their game. However, today no one else but him is here. His shoes squeak on the gym floor, the ball firmly gripped by his hands. To this days he wonders how it is for the other schools, the power house schools. Fair funding, better shoes, more time in the gym. It doesn’t matter he guesses, the shoes don’t make the player. But oh, time does.

In the beginning he didn’t care all that much about whether he was good or not, it’s not like he planned on playing professionally in the future. But once he got a taste of that sweet unforgettable victory of getting his first serve over, he couldn’t stop longing for it. It’s understandable that Kageyama and Hinata put so many hours in, understandable that they grow at such a rapid and frightening pace. Well, it doesn’t really matter if he doesn’t improve himself as well. Being jealous of others never made him gain anything.

Hinata barges in, sweat dripping from him already. After a couple of looks around the gym he raises his arms and does a little victory dance. “YES!!! Finally! I’m earlier than Kageyama for once. Hey Yama!”.

Normally the only one giving him nicknames is Tsukki. Yams, Yama, it’s whatever. It always made him happy, he felt validated. But having Hinata call him by nicknames is nice too, it feels like he finally managed to make a friend of his own. He had always struggled with that aspect of life, friends. It’s nice, it really is, to have Hinata as a friend. “Congrats! I guess…”. It’s sometimes difficult to react to Hinata appropriately since he’s so special. 

“Thanks! Right, I almost forgot. Kenma invited me to a party, it’s supposed to be after the practice matches next weekend. Wanna come? You can bring Tsuikishima if you feel like it.”. He was already bouncing all over the place, solo receiving balls after throwing them against the wall.

“Uh… sure why not?”.

“Nice! Well, would you look at that? It’s a loser with a capital L.”. He points at the door and Kageyama cusses him off before joining Hinata in doing rallies of pepper. It’s endearing, how close they’ve come in such a short time. Yamaguchi returns to his serve practice and the day goes on. Just as it always does.

***

“Hi.”. He puts his tray down next to Kiyoko and Yachi, they’re looking over some plays they had recently. After some blushing from getting praised about his serves Yamaguchi notices the bottle of pastel green nailpolish that’s open on the table. “That’s a pretty colour.”.

Kiyoko smiles and picks the bottle up and shows him her freshly painted nails. “It is, isn’t it? I found it the other day!”. Yamaguchi doesn’t tear his eyes off of the pretty green. It isn’t as light as normal pastel greens, but has some hints of bitter in it. Nothing slips past Kiyoko, she is used to being around a dozen or so rowdy boys on the daily, and she asks: “Do you want me to paint your nails?”.

The thought had never occurred to him, he doesn’t own any nail polishes to even try painting his nails with. Yamaguchi gives her a shy nod and she takes both of his hands and places them on the table. They talk about the trivial things while she’s painting them for him. How school is going, how he thinks the practice matches tomorrow will go, if he had done anything fun the past week. Yachi spends the entire time carefully looking at his nails to assure that nothing spills to the side and reviews some notes with him from English class. When the bell rings the polish is dry and shiny and very very pretty.

***

These days Yamaguchi doesn’t get picked on very often. He’s tall and lanky and doesn’t hesitate to say something snarky when the opportunity presents itself. Nail polish has never been popular amongst the boys at school,and wearing it just like that was almost like asking to get picked on. One of the guys in class comes up to him and leans over his desk, inspecting the pastel nails.

“What are you? A girl or something?”. He laughs at his own comment and looks for reassurance from his friends that join him, all of them sound like they have one brain cell combined.

“It worries me that you’re that insecure about your masculinity, bro.”. No one hears Yamaguchi say ‘bro’, ever. It’s something condescending coming from his mouth, it usually makes people back away. This isn’t an exception, the classmates clicks his tongue and goes back to his seat. But still, it still, god damn it. He feels like he can’t enjoy anything without being criticised for it. The rest of the class he spends nervously chipping the polish on his index fingers, making the cuticles bloody and nasty.

***

“Hey Yams.”. Tsukishima gives him a cup of coffee and they start walking to the gym, their first practice match is against Fukorodani. He’s excited about blocking Bokuto for once, Yamaguchi enjoys watching him anticipating practice for once. “About the party, we’re still going right?”. Yamaguchi nods thoughtfully. Sometimes, very often, he cancels plans the day they’re due. Especially parties. It's the anxiety, Tsukishima knows that.

Yamaguchi did think of cancelling as late as this morning, but decided against it. It should be fine, he thought. There will only be people tha he knows and has known for quite some time now. If he can manage to spend every day with these people for a week over summer he can manage one night. “Are you going to drink?”.

“I don’t know, not a lot.”. Tsukishima doesn’t like the taste of alcohol, even if it’s the sweet kind. Sure, the effect is fun, but not worth the taste of it. Yamaguchi doesn’t drink at all. Tsukishima asked why and they came to the conclusion that Yams is simply scared of how he will react. A completely reasonable thing to be afraid of.

They win some and lose some, a lot of the matches get tied. It’s fun during these games, recently they’ve been doing a lot better. Ever since everyone puts in their all for the team it has been a lot more fun, and easier, to play. Yamaguchi receives a lot of compliments about his nails, Kenma glares at them for a bit too long before calling them pretty. Hinata also likes them and Kageyama comments that Hinata should paint his in orange so he can be even more like a tangerine. Kiyoko even repaints the chipped index fingers and Tsukki whispers something in his ear that makes him blush. It’s a good day, with the scary night luring just behind the corner.

***

It’s Kenma who opens the door for them. Kuroo is already leaning on him with an arm wrapped around his shoulder, a sketchy drink tightly gripped in his hand. Kenma is playing something on his phone and sipping on a cider while they play drinking games on the couch in the living room. Kiss and blow is making its way around the circle and Kuroo purposely blows the card away so he can give Kenma a little kiss, which he swiftly avoids by turning his head to the side. He suggests that they play something else, perhaps Roxanne, which everyone agrees on doing immediately.

Yamaguchi surprises himself. He doesn’t know what does it, but he drinks a lot that night. Every tequila shot that is offered slides down his throat and the lime always leaves him with a sour face. The vodka, dripping over the brim of the shot glass, bruns his throat and leaves it warm and soft so he can drink some more. Tsukishima mostly sits on the couch sipping beers and laughing at Hinata and Kageyamas drunk fighting, he doesn’t notice Yamaguchi all that much. Kuroo finds him pouring himself a bit too much Jägermeister and asks him if he wants to join them outside for a smoke. At first he hesitates, but the smoke smells so good and it can’t hurt to try. Right? The first inhale is a bit confusing, it doesn’t really go down his lungs. But once it does it feels a bit like when you’re on a roller coaster.

Kenma gives him a faint smile and lights his own cigarette off of Sugas. “You gotta give your lungs something to fight for.”. He had never seen him smoke sober, but Kenma seemed to be very used to the little stick between his fingers and the smoke blackening his lungs. Suga is already on his third and they haven’t even been out here for twenty minutes. Or have they? It’s difficult to keep track of time when you’re drunk.

“It’s funny how I would never touch a cigarette sober, but fuck they’re good right now.”. Suga laughs at himself, offering Yamaguchi another one. 

There’s something bothering him immensely. The sudden feeling of being twice as drunk as before, his heart beating faster and the smell of smoke that won’t get out of his shirt no matter how many times he smells it. The nail polish chips off faster than last time and the little green flakes get stuck underneath his fingernails, he can feel someone tapping his shoulder but there is too much happening right now. Kenma grabs his hand, the thin fingers gripping his. “Tadashi?”. The sudden use of his first name catches his attention long enough for Kenma to keep on talking. “Are you anxious?”. Yamaguchi nods, trying to tell him what he’s feeling, but words won't leave his mouth. “Okay. Should I go get Kei?”. Once again, all Yamaguchi can do is nod. Kenma does it all very smoothly, gets everyone to switch to another smoking spot in a matter of seconds. “Hey. I’m going to go get Kei, I’ll be back soon. Okay? You’re gonna be fine.”.

Nothing is fine actually. He is sitting out in the cool spring night shaking as if it was winter and several minus degrees. Before Kenma even has the time to come back with Tsukki, Hinata and Kageyama come out to do something. Yamaguchi doesn’t notice the fumbling hands and the pulling of hair or wet kisses with promises of not telling a soul, Kageyama and Hinata don’t even notice Yamaguchi sitting on the sidewalk until they bump into him. 

“Oh! Sorry!”. Hinata waits for an answer, asking him several times what’s going on. Kageyama is the first one to catch on to the situation, and tells Hinata to stop talking. They sit down beside him, talking about mundane things like volleyball or what they’re excited to do during summer, everything to distract him from whatever is happening and that is a lot. And then they suddenly disappear, go back to the house and take new cups of drinks and sing to loud songs and dance semi-ugly in the living room.

For a second he thinks he’s alone again, in the dark night. But a lean arm wraps around his shoulder and a blond boy leans Yamaguchi's head on to his shoulder and a familiar song from their childhood gets hummed out into the night. Their hands are intertwined and they fit together perfectly like a puzzle piece and Yamaguchi doesn’t want to let go even though he knows his hands are sweaty and bloody from all the scratching on his nails. Tsukishima waits it out with him, lets him breathe as much as he wants and ramble and being absolutely nonsensical until it’s finally over. The party is still going on behind the closed door, and across the street there’s still the guys smoking a pack each and everything is just as it should be. Just as it was.

“You know, maybe nicotine isn’t for you.”. Yamaguchi can’t help but laugh. He always laughs around Tsukki, he can’t help it. Tsukki takes his hands in his own and starts wiping the blood off of his cuticles, there’s just a couple of spots of green left on the nails now. “Green suits you well. It’s pretty.”. His face is sweet, like sugar. Smile and eyes and dimples and even his hair, it’s all soft and sweet and welcoming and it’s a shame people see him as only grumpy and sarcasm embodied. Yamaguchi’s throat is burning from the crying but yet he gives him a smile so wide one wouldn’t figure out anything had ever been wrong. “Did you see Hinata and Kageyama? They’ll have a hard time explaining that one.”.

“They’ll probably say that they competed about who’s the best kisser.”. Tsukki laughs at his joke, but it might as well be the truth. 

“Wanna leave this place?”.

“Yeah.”. 

Suga waves them off with a glowing cigarette in hand and Kenma texts them to get home safe and the two of them walk hand in hand down the street lit up by yellow lights humming to the songs echoing between the houses.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't really had any inspiration lately and school and work have been taking all my time to writing this feels like a relief even though it could've been better.
> 
> The first time I smoked I got a panic attack and that sure was an experince to remember, but you know now I'm fine and it doesn't really affect me like that anymore. I just thought people might think I'm writing it a bit too dramatic but you don't really know how sensitive you can be to certain substances until you try them and that is a lesson for you cool kids. Don't smoke lmao, that's the responsible thing to say.


	7. Lucked out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He would rather sleep than live

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i don't know if this is dark or not, i'm in a bit of a gray place

‘Oh how lucky I am’, Yamaguchi thought. He’s laying in bed, the only view being the stars in his room glowing in their own grimy way. The dishes are stocking up and the boulder of clothing only keeps on growing. ‘Oh how lucky I am to not have it worse than this.”. His meds are on the side of his bed, tiny pills and a big glass of water. He knows they’re mostly placebo, he refused to take drugs any stronger than those he already has. The ten texts from Tsukishima remain unanswered and Yamaguchi closes his eyes with the hopes that no one will come looking for him just yet. Not today, not yet, just five more minutes. Tsukki’s voice is on repeat in his head. ‘You’re not a burden’, it’s on a never ending loop. He falls in to the land of dreams and hopes he won’t have to wake up again in just eight hours.


End file.
